The Beautiful Friendship in Frances Ha
Dedicated to Lauren
“Ahoy sexy!” When you think of who your best friend is, who do you think of? Why are they your best friend? When I think of my best friend, I always think of Noah Baumbach’s beloved film, Frances Ha, because it is one of the best portrayals of what it is like to have a best friend. This film shows not only the good sides of a friendship, but the hardships too. Frances Ha chronicles how time and circumstance can change and test a friendship between two women, Frances Halladay (Greta Gerwig) and Sophie Levee (Mickey Sumner).
The opening of Frances Ha starts with a playful montage of Frances and Sophie which documents their daily life living in New York together. The beauty of this collection of moments is that it is not overly embellished, rather it shows the mundane aspects of life that all people must go through, but reminds us that what makes these moments special is having someone there by your side. In the first few minutes, we already feel like we understand Frances and Sophie’s friendship. In quick succession we see their life together: one reads while the other knits, one exercises while the other reads, they chat whilst smoking out their apartment windows, they do laundry together, and there is an especially touching moment where they fall asleep in the same bed after watching a film late at night.
An important thing that we see is Frances and Sophie, even when they are individually doing their own tasks, are still always doing them together because they still want to have each other's presence. They are attached at the hip and deeply care for one another, constantly telling each other they love one another upon hanging up the phone or going to sleep. This beginning will surely elicit memories we all have with our own best friends, as it does with me.
Baumbach, in all of his films, has a way of creating characters that feel very real, and Frances and Sophie are by no means an exception to this. When Frances and Sophie speak to each other, you witness their inside jokes, ones that we will never understand, but that feels very relatable nonetheless. Inside jokes between friends shows a language that only they know, communicated through memories shared only between them.
Frances, when speaking about Sophie, tells people that they are practically the same person. When you spend enough time with someone, you begin to take on some of their mannerisms, you start to say some of the same phrases that they do, without even realizing it. Since Frances and Sophie have been friends since they were in college, it is very likely this is the case for them as well. Although, of course, they are very much individual people with individual thoughts and feelings, when you have a best friend, it really does feel at times like you are the same person. It is one of the most wonderful feelings in this life to find a friend who understands you in a way no one else can, whether it be because you have known each other for many years, or because you have experienced similar things, it is such a relief.
However, it is inevitable that friendships will go through tough changes. There is nothing wrong with this, but unfortunately, because of this a lot of friendships do not stand the test of time. It is a part of life that people grow apart, people change along with their situations and the other people they encounter during their individual journeys. This may be a good thing, as some friendships are not meant to remain forever. In some cases, you may find as you grow up that the person you used to call your best friend is a completely different person than you thought they were. You may have a falling out with a bad friend and look back with gratitude that the friendship ended. You might just drift apart from people as time goes on, where the phone calls and text messages just continue to stagger until one day there are no more. In my case, I am extremely lucky that my best friend and I have remained friends through all of life's trials and tribulations.
In the case of Frances Ha, the first defining moment in their friendship is when Sophie breaks the news to Frances that she wants to move out of their apartment and into another place in Tribeca, her dream neighborhood, with another girl named Lisa, a girl that Frances makes obvious she does not like. Since Frances can no longer afford their lease by herself, she moves in with two of Sophie’s friends, Lev (Adam Driver) and Benji (Michael Zegen). Time passes, and as Frances settles into her new life without Sophie around all the time, she begins to realize just how much about Sophie’s life she no longer knows about.
Whilst hanging out with Lev and Benji one morning, Frances discovers that Sophie has been hanging out with other friends. Although this is completely normal, at first it shocks Frances. Not long ago, Frances and her did everything together and they lived within their own little bubble, now that was just not the case anymore. When Frances and Sophie do hang out, Sophie can no longer stay as long as Frances wants, as she has plans with her boyfriend, Patch. The realization sets in with Frances, as it has with everyone who has experienced this with their own best friend, that long gone are the days where it was just them and no one else.
I have experienced my share of these moments. Relationships ebb and flow through these life changes, the consequence of which is losing some people along the way, as painful as that can be. The look on Frances’ face when she learns something new about Sophie’s life, learns about experiences she is having with other people, conveys a specific feeling all of us have felt. Watching someone you care about moving on with their life without you, while also mourning the loss of their presence, is hard. Of course, it is unrealistic to think that you will keep all the same friends from when you were younger. Life teaches us that this is a bittersweet thing.
As time continues to pass, tension grows between Frances and Sophie until it finally comes to a head one night where Frances gets too drunk and confronts Sophie about her boyfriend. They get into a big fight and leave things broken for a long time as they go about their separate ways: Frances to Sacramento to visit her family and Sophie to the Galapagos with Patch. While apart, Frances tries to fill the Sophie-sized hole in her life by acting out the things she did with Sophie, with other people. Alas, she finds that they will never get it; Rachel, a girl from her dance company, gets offended when Frances tries to play-fight with her like she and Sophie used to do. No one will ever be Sophie except for Sophie.
Frances finds out from other people that Sophie is moving to Japan with Patch, she does not hear it firsthand from Sophie as they are both still in a fight. When Sophie finally does call Frances to tell her the news, we see that they are both lying to each other about how great their lives are in order to save face. This continues as the film progresses. Frances’ only contact with Sophie after she moves to Japan is checking Sophie’s online blog, where her life appears to be perfect. When Frances and Sophie run into each other at an auction event at their old college, Frances finds out that things were not as great as they seemed, and that Sophie’s blog was another front. Her and Patch are clearly going through a tough time, but despite this they are engaged, another piece of information Frances had not heard about until then. After the auction, Sophie drunkenly stays the night with Frances, as she is too angry to stay with Patch, and she reveals more intimate details about her time in Japan that Frances was oblivious to. They end the night sleeping in the same bed, just like the old days where they lived together, and profess their want to have their old life together back: Sophie wants to leave Patch and come back to New York and live close to Frances. Frances shares their sentiment, but we know they will never have that back.
In the end, Sophie and Patch end up getting married and Frances finally begins to work on her choreography. When she puts on her first show, all of her friends that she met along the way are there, including Sophie. Frances’ “I want this one moment” speech earlier in the film has a direct callback at the end of the film, where she and Sophie meet eyes from across the crowded room after her dance.
“It’s that thing when you’re with someone and you love them and they know it, and they love you and you know it. But it’s a party! And you’re both talking to other people, and you’re laughing and shining, and you look across the room and catch each other’s eyes. But not because you’re possessive or it’s precisely sexual, but because that is your person in this life.”
Frances and Sophie are each other’s person. Sophie has Patch now, and it is hinted at the end that Frances may be rekindling a relationship with Benji, but no one else in their lives will ever replace the love they have for each other. Sure, their friendship will never be exactly the way it was at the start of the film: they will continue to live apart with their own families and they will experience things individually that the other may never and there will be aspects of their lives that will not always be shared. However, just because their friendship has been changed, does not make it a bad thing. Their final glance at each other at the end gives us hope that despite these things, they will be lifelong friends, and there is something so special in fully knowing that you will always have your person.
Essay by Alysha Prasad
Images courtesy of IFC Films.
